Sometimes, in my efforts to try to understand that story of my own life, I wonder why the hell it has been this way. Why did I make all the foolish mistakes that I made? why the hell have I been so stupid all my life? why the hell?
why the hell did I have to get close to suicide? fall in love and lose it? make foolish professional judgements?
and then I realise that if all that had not happened, I would have led a mediocre life, been a fearful lad scared of losing love and sticking there even at the cost of my own respect and not been able to look straight into my eyes! I would have led a life doing things I hate to do, with people who killed anything right in me. I would have compromised with a mediocre life and career! I would have been just a normal guy living a hopelessly borin, mediocre and awful life!!
but no, that was not to be. I had to make professional mistakes. I had to reach close to suicide after wasting a lot of time doing things I hated. I had to fall and love and be treated like shit by my girlfriends so I have the guts to not let anyone take me for granted even if it means walking out!!!!
amarocks is the result of all these mistakes and lessons. I had to go through the pains I did to become what I have become and my life is bound to be anything but ordinary! anything but usual.
I promise!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Keep hitting!
I hit a lot. I fail a lot. Sometimes, i hit the bull's eye only 1 out of 100 times. And that 1 time keeps me going. I live for that one time. it pumps me up. Happiness is victory. Keep hitting. For that one time. For the love of the game. if you are not playing to win, don't play! Common, get up. Drink in the frustration and hit again with all your might! may success kiss your feat and applaud your spirit...
there are a few moments that justify that rest of the life. That justify your very existence. I want those moments that justify mine.
there are a few moments that justify that rest of the life. That justify your very existence. I want those moments that justify mine.
Friday, April 17, 2009
The Revolutionary Road!
I watched "the revolutionary road" yesterday. It pained me to the core, like most books I have read do. The movie speaks about living the life you want.
About taking the risk and having the backbone, to lead life the way you want it and get out of the hopeless emptiness that means nothing. There is a character in the movie, a psychiatric patient. He rips off the seeming sanity of his hosts, the wheelers when he comes to meet them the second them and they have given up on their plans to go to Paris! Astounding, outstanding!
It takes backbone to lead your life the way you want it. It takes guts to leave the security of what you have to walk in direction of your dreams. It takes guts to put everything on the line. It takes courage to persist in the face of failure.
It is not unrealistic. What is unrealistic is the way we live lives. Killing ourselves every single day being in jobs we don't like, with people we don't like, anything we don't like. That is unrealistic.
there is only one success in this world. to live your life the way you want it. Pursuing everything you love every single day, giving yourself pleasure out of things you do and people you meet. You see, as i said the other day, like an orgasm, as intense as pleasurable.
it takes guts to lead your life the way you want. nothing else. everything else is a farce, sham, shame and pity. i am a part of all this, at present.
About taking the risk and having the backbone, to lead life the way you want it and get out of the hopeless emptiness that means nothing. There is a character in the movie, a psychiatric patient. He rips off the seeming sanity of his hosts, the wheelers when he comes to meet them the second them and they have given up on their plans to go to Paris! Astounding, outstanding!
It takes backbone to lead your life the way you want it. It takes guts to leave the security of what you have to walk in direction of your dreams. It takes guts to put everything on the line. It takes courage to persist in the face of failure.
It is not unrealistic. What is unrealistic is the way we live lives. Killing ourselves every single day being in jobs we don't like, with people we don't like, anything we don't like. That is unrealistic.
there is only one success in this world. to live your life the way you want it. Pursuing everything you love every single day, giving yourself pleasure out of things you do and people you meet. You see, as i said the other day, like an orgasm, as intense as pleasurable.
it takes guts to lead your life the way you want. nothing else. everything else is a farce, sham, shame and pity. i am a part of all this, at present.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Success!
The open secret of Success is the ability to go from one setback to another, without losing enthusiasm! and keep hitting tirelessly, till you hit the bull's eye!
Press on!
Press on!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
The state of Indian Politics!
dear indian voter, here are your choices of a leader. Sushree Mulayam Singh (ban English, ban computers etc.)/ Shri Advani or Modi or anything BJP (we can't catch terrorists so we will kill and maim anything muslim; watever we say, Mandir Vahin banega/ Mayavati Ben (IT Kaun? Economy kaun saab? dalit is india); and the incumbent PM (although not inherently bad a guy, we will not assert anything)....god bless India, god bless you!
well, it is almost the eve of Indian elections and unfortunately none of the leaders that we have to pick inspires confidence.
well, it is almost the eve of Indian elections and unfortunately none of the leaders that we have to pick inspires confidence.
Monday, April 13, 2009
indians and chinese!
every 5th man (or the woman) in the world is a Chinese and every 6th man is an Indian.
The problem with the 5th is he does not care about the world and with the 6th one is that he has not learned to mind his own business!
The problem with the 5th is he does not care about the world and with the 6th one is that he has not learned to mind his own business!
TOTD!
from one of my friend's page on orkut
When the time comes, for this mortal life to end,
May I die on the battlefield fighting courageously
When the time comes, for this mortal life to end,
May I die on the battlefield fighting courageously
My Favorite words, as I acknowledge their meaning
These are some of the most powerful words in English Language. I love them. They may have multiple meanings and they do. I am including their meanings, the way I like to and would use these words. I have added stuff to the meaning, by the way, where required. otherwise, the source is dictionary.com
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Conviction: A fixed or firm belief
Determination: the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose
Will: the faculty of conscious and especially of deliberate action; the power of control the mind has over its own actions. The power of choosing one's own actions; the act or process of using or asserting one's choice; volition
Perseverance: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement
Tenacity: with the original meaning of adhesiveness, as of glue, is a dogged and determined holding on. Whether used literally or figuratively it has favorable implications: a bulldog quality of tenacity; the tenacity of one's memory
Belief: confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof
Selfishness: The quality or state of being selfish; exclusive regard to one's own interest or happiness; that supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct his purposes to the advancement of his own interest, power, or happiness. A selfish person follows his own happiness and expects others to follow their own. He does not decide for others. He does not interfere in others' lives. He lives his own. We are all born to be selfish. But somewhere, we are maimed by idiots by think that we are not entitled to live our lives and do what they think is right for us
Power: ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something
Talent: a special ability or aptitude
Aptitude: capability; ability; innate or acquired capacity for something; talent
Attitude: A state of mind or a feeling; disposition; a complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways
Dream: an aspiration; goal; aim, a fire that does not let you sleep
Fantasy: imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained; an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream; The creative imagination; unrestrained fancy
Beauty: the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest)
Pleasure: enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one's liking; gratification; delight.
Synonyms:
happiness, gladness, delectation. Pleasure, enjoyment, delight, joy refer to the feeling of being pleased and happy. Pleasure is the general term: to take pleasure in beautiful scenery. Enjoyment is a quiet sense of well-being and pleasurable satisfaction: enjoyment at sitting in the shade on a warm day. Delight is a high degree of pleasure, usually leading to active expression of it: delight at receiving a hoped-for letter. Joy is a feeling of delight so deep and so lasting that one radiates happiness and expresses it spontaneously: joy at unexpected good news. 5. voluptuousness. preference, wish, inclination, predilection WOW
Orgasm: most intense pleasure.
life should ideally be an orgasm. One after another. Work should be orgasmic. Pleasurable. Exciting. Something that brings intense sensation to the body and mind. The people we meet. The places we visit. The things we do. Everything about life, every moment, like an orgasm.
Fun: something that provides mirth or amusement; a source of enjoyment, amusement, or pleasure. You see, what I mean.
Ecstasy: rapturous delight; delight, bliss, elation. Ecstasy, rapture, transport, exaltation share a sense of being taken or moved out of one's self or one's normal state, and entering a state of intensified or heightened feeling. Ecstasy suggests an intensification of emotion so powerful as to produce a trancelike dissociation from all but the single overpowering feeling. Rapture shares the power of ecstasy but most often refers to an elevated sensation of bliss or delight, either carnal or spiritual like the rapture of first love
Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. now, that person could be any one. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness; To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming
Hope: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
Enjoy: to experience with joy; take pleasure in
Rock (verb, rock you!): to be moved or swayed powerfully
Dignity: The quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect
Purpose: The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; "And ever those, who would enjoyment gain/Must find it in the purpose they pursue" (Sarah Josepha Hale)
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Conviction: A fixed or firm belief
Determination: the act of coming to a decision or of fixing or settling a purpose
Will: the faculty of conscious and especially of deliberate action; the power of control the mind has over its own actions. The power of choosing one's own actions; the act or process of using or asserting one's choice; volition
Perseverance: steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement
Tenacity: with the original meaning of adhesiveness, as of glue, is a dogged and determined holding on. Whether used literally or figuratively it has favorable implications: a bulldog quality of tenacity; the tenacity of one's memory
Belief: confidence in the truth or existence of something not immediately susceptible to rigorous proof
Selfishness: The quality or state of being selfish; exclusive regard to one's own interest or happiness; that supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct his purposes to the advancement of his own interest, power, or happiness. A selfish person follows his own happiness and expects others to follow their own. He does not decide for others. He does not interfere in others' lives. He lives his own. We are all born to be selfish. But somewhere, we are maimed by idiots by think that we are not entitled to live our lives and do what they think is right for us
Power: ability to do or act; capability of doing or accomplishing something
Talent: a special ability or aptitude
Aptitude: capability; ability; innate or acquired capacity for something; talent
Attitude: A state of mind or a feeling; disposition; a complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings and values and dispositions to act in certain ways
Dream: an aspiration; goal; aim, a fire that does not let you sleep
Fantasy: imagination, esp. when extravagant and unrestrained; an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream; The creative imagination; unrestrained fancy
Beauty: the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest)
Pleasure: enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one's liking; gratification; delight.
Synonyms:
happiness, gladness, delectation. Pleasure, enjoyment, delight, joy refer to the feeling of being pleased and happy. Pleasure is the general term: to take pleasure in beautiful scenery. Enjoyment is a quiet sense of well-being and pleasurable satisfaction: enjoyment at sitting in the shade on a warm day. Delight is a high degree of pleasure, usually leading to active expression of it: delight at receiving a hoped-for letter. Joy is a feeling of delight so deep and so lasting that one radiates happiness and expresses it spontaneously: joy at unexpected good news. 5. voluptuousness. preference, wish, inclination, predilection WOW
Orgasm: most intense pleasure.
life should ideally be an orgasm. One after another. Work should be orgasmic. Pleasurable. Exciting. Something that brings intense sensation to the body and mind. The people we meet. The places we visit. The things we do. Everything about life, every moment, like an orgasm.
Fun: something that provides mirth or amusement; a source of enjoyment, amusement, or pleasure. You see, what I mean.
Ecstasy: rapturous delight; delight, bliss, elation. Ecstasy, rapture, transport, exaltation share a sense of being taken or moved out of one's self or one's normal state, and entering a state of intensified or heightened feeling. Ecstasy suggests an intensification of emotion so powerful as to produce a trancelike dissociation from all but the single overpowering feeling. Rapture shares the power of ecstasy but most often refers to an elevated sensation of bliss or delight, either carnal or spiritual like the rapture of first love
Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. now, that person could be any one. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness; To like or desire enthusiastically: loves swimming
Hope: the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
Enjoy: to experience with joy; take pleasure in
Rock (verb, rock you!): to be moved or swayed powerfully
Dignity: The quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect
Purpose: The object toward which one strives or for which something exists; "And ever those, who would enjoyment gain/Must find it in the purpose they pursue" (Sarah Josepha Hale)
Howard Roark!
Keller to Roark from the Fountainhead:
"Roark, it's just a building. It's not the combination of divine ecstacy, holy sacrament (something regarded as possessing a sacred character or mysterious significance) and sexual pleasure that you make it!!!"
Roark- "is it not?"
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Another situation in the book where Gail Wynand is about to lose everything he owns, everything he has made in his life, in his fight to defend Howard Roark and he comes to him and asks:-
Roark, "do you want me to give in?"
and Roark says, "I want you to hold out even if it costs you everything you own"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Howard Roark is the epitome of character of the selfish obstinacy to live your life on your terms. Bravo.
"Roark, it's just a building. It's not the combination of divine ecstacy, holy sacrament (something regarded as possessing a sacred character or mysterious significance) and sexual pleasure that you make it!!!"
Roark- "is it not?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Another situation in the book where Gail Wynand is about to lose everything he owns, everything he has made in his life, in his fight to defend Howard Roark and he comes to him and asks:-
Roark, "do you want me to give in?"
and Roark says, "I want you to hold out even if it costs you everything you own"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Howard Roark is the epitome of character of the selfish obstinacy to live your life on your terms. Bravo.
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