Shaadi Karale

Shaadi kab kara raha hai

Shaadi karale

Shaadi kab kara rahi hai

Shaadi karale

30 saal ka ho gya hai

Shaadi karale

25 saal ki ho gyi hai

Shaadi karale

Pyar kisi se hua nahi

Shaadi karale

Hua bhi to tika nahi

Shaadi karale

Bache nahi honge tere

Shaadi karale

Science me likha hai ye

Shaadi karale

Sex karne ka mann nahi karta

Shaadi karale

Tujme koi kami hai kya

Shaadi karale 

Society kya bolegi

Shaadi karale

Log kya bolenge

Shaadi karale

Rishtedar kya bolenge

Shaadi karale

Kya fayda padhai ka

Shaadi karale

Kya fayda job ka

Shaadi karale

Sunny Leone ki bhi ho gyi hai

Shaadi karale

ND Tewari ki bhi ho gyi hai

Shaadi karale

Kam waliyon ki bhi ho jati hai

Shaadi karale 

Career set nahi hua

Shaadi karale

Pyar koi tika nahi

Shaadi karale

Pyar age hoga nahi

Shaadi karale

Kisi se bhi ab karale

Shaadi karale

Caste religion se ab matlab nahi

Shaadi karale

Bhains se karale

Shaadi karale

Gaye se karale

Shaadi karale

Bitch se karale

Shaadi karale

Mar ja nahi karani to

Shaadi karale

Paida hi kyu hua tha tu

Shaadi karale

Paida hi kyu hui thi tu

Shaadi karale

Haye Kismet phooti thi

Shaadi karale

Chhad! Aine ni karani! Maran de

Fresh from the thought factory...

Baat poori keejiye
Varna na keejiye
Duniya me bahut hain adhe pone humsafar

aadhi baat humse hoti nai

poori baat vo karte nai

----

The person who works from home is the 'irritator' and his colleagues who have to take his/her calls and follow up with him/her are the 'irritatees'

i am working from home today.

----

When we are kids, we act oversmart causing consternation to our parents. When we grow up, they extract revenge by acting oversmart.

-----

When a girl is wearing what she calls a 'dress,' pay attention. Otherwise, they are just wearing clothes.

-----

• Hangovers have the potential to wreck future plans (remember this!)

----

• Just passed by an outlet which said kamasutra fabrics. Of course, just saying.

---

• I hate nostalgia. Unless it can be shared.

----

If you don't get what you like, don't make a spectacular fool of yourself by liking what you get. 
Fuckin die, but don't leave the pursuit of what you like. They have been feeding you trash because they need people to do donkey work.

---

Why are you not married is a question that assumes that one only needs the basic physical attachments to get hitched, and no companionship, which demands a lot.

-----

"Pairi paina" should be defined as the national greeting instead of namaste--) with your index finger pointing towards the toe of who you are greeting.

-------

Many of my jokes are so good that they are forced to ask, 'ye joke Tha?

----

Rebuttal doesn't mean attaching a new butt, please. Angrez.

------

Mushkil ho gya hai
Duniya me jeena
Duniyadari chhod kar

------

Kabhi Maine khud ko
Zamane ke dhang me dhaal liya
Kabhi Maine khud ko
Apno ke dhang me dhaal liya 
Vo dhaalte Gaye
Mai dhalta Gaya 

Kal ayine ne mujhse pucha
Tu kaun hai??
Sharm se nazar Mila na paya mai 

-------

• I can't stand 10 minutes of pretense. People stand a lifetime.

---------

70% of newsfeed comes from 10% of friend list. 
Potato principle

Content Factory Recent

Dil kehta hai amar chhod de duniyadari
Ho ja banjara

-----------------------

Art and full time jobs are strange bed fellows.

------------------------

I could die one day. Listening to a dog conversation.

India cannot make any progress till MTV Roadies continues to be an aspiration among the Youth of the country

Barack Obama

It's a shame to be scared of one's own nakedness. 
Go the 'Jain' way. All the way.

To kya hua jo vo bewafa nikli
Tuje pata kyu nahi tha ae dil
Ke scope sirf maze lene tak tha

-------------------------

No one disturbs a sleeping lion.

-------------------

LOLA
Laughing out loud ainwai

---------------

One day, Indian parents will not educate their kids to find a job followed by a woman followed by having kids followed by becoming grandparents and dying. They will just tell them, 'go and be sexy day on day. Long term is a fuckin joke.' Logical error. How is this my dream?!

----------------

It's so frigging easier to bear pain ourselves.
Than to see people we love in pain and be able to 

------------------------

whenever and wherever i own the rules,
I will ban multi tasking forever.

-----------------

"I hope you live a life you are proud of. 
If you are not, I hope you have the strength to start, all over again."

-F. Scott. Fitzgerald

Content Factory Recent!

Nahi garj hame ke vo bas
Ik bar gale laga le chala gaya
Is chhoti si zindagi me
Bas ik baar bahut tha
Gar vo dil chhu gaya hota
Kash vo dil chhu gaya hota

--------------------------------

Uski nazron ne vo baat is shiddat se kahi
Humne bewajah samjha phir zaban par gaur dena

------------------------------

Mohabbat ka dikhawa karne walon ki bheed lagi hai dekhiye
Kambakht bewajah mil jate hain 
kale dil, pyari si surten liye

Jhooda sa vakt guzarte hain
Aur mohabbat ko badnam karne kahin aur nikal jate hain

Bheed lagi hai dekhiye

------------------------------


So, what the fuck is your good name? 
Mine is Amar. I have 1000 other names which I don't think are good. 

#whatisyourgoodname

------------------------

Marketing doesn't sell products. Marketing sells sex appeal.

----------------------------

Apple users, especially female ones believe that Apple sourced their hotness to build the brand

So there are 2 kinds of I-phone buyers:

1. Who don't need it and want to feel superior to others anyfuckinhow
2. Refer to point 1

------------------------------

I belong. To Delhi

--------------------------

Weather is so bizarre in banga luru that some people are wearing monkey caps and some are running around in their undergarments.

--------------------------

The world is an ocean. You and I are waves.

--------------------------


Appetite and Happiness are similar in nature.
They need to be generated. every day.

--------------------------

'what do you like to do over the weekends' is a more useful question to get to know about people than 'what do you do?'

-----------------------

Lungi and dhoti are synonyms in principle.

-----------------------

Humne zindagi ki kishti ko 
Dolne se bahut bachaya
Vakt laga samajhne me
Ke kishti ke neeche lehren hain 

Dolna to fitrat hai kishti ki
Bewakufi par khud ki hans lete hain ab, jab kishti dolti hai
Maze lete hain hum

-----------------------------

You see the name is Amar. Ain't gonna die. 

'why have you got the immortal tattoo?'

---------------------------

Most of my jokes are so sexy that I am the only one who understands them.

-------------------------


Zindagi kis aur ja rahi hai
Na hame pata hai
Na zindagi ko malum hai
Sath chaloge? 

----------------------

Don't rush. To anywhere. Imagine, if the sperm that created you failed its biological destiny. Chill.

-------------------

Indian ghosts only kill bathing women. #Bollywood

Passion and trivia

I, hereby, pronounce fair n lovely as a racist product. Wheatish is sexy.

----------

Indian ghosts only kill bathing women. #Bollywood

--------

All I care about now in life is to watch passionate people doing what they are passionate about, including myself. Everything else is plain boring.

Laugh at yourself!

Learn to laugh at yourself. or i will laugh at you anyway.


Life in India. 
10th standard: CBSE boards are the first step to a great career
11th Standard: damn! science or commerce or arts!!!!
under graduate degree: wtf was that! get out of this
post graduate degree: whatever happened! now? marriage?!!! kids?!!
mid life: what is the purpose of life?
retirement: bete, i want you to do what i couldn't do. beti, jeele apni zindagi

Just joking

So i understood the budget this time. basically because the taxes have been increased, it reduces the fiscal expenditure which increases the revenue deficit and leads to inflation due to which RBI has to increase interest rate leading to more money in your hands which fucks you up. men want beer and women want tequila shots. this will lead to fiscal consolidation. see you next year.

---------------------------------------------------------

I met Victoria yesterday. She told me her secret.

Kameddy!

"Every man has got to speak for himself. Only when a man speaks, one can know what he stands for and what he does bhangra for. Pump up the bhangra"

Manmohan Singh


"Every man is an island."

Sonia Gandhi


"Oh, forget the temple man. we will build an amusement park. Lord Ram would rather like people to laugh, smile and make merry"- Advani 

"Hi five!"- RSS

Bring on the Naga dancers. It's a Friday!

Leaders and Bus Drivers!

There are 2 kinds of leaders. One, people 'want' to follow. 

Two, people have to follow just because serendipity puts them in a position of authority because of which they think they rule the roads. I call the second category- bus drivers.

A leader is a man people want to follow. Rest of them, are bus drivers.


-----------------------

Carry your torch of love. whatever you find with it, bundle it. Leave the rest. It means nothing.

------------------------

The problem with pretentiousness people is that they won't even admit it to themselves.

-----------------------

As I grow more and kids start coming to me trying to touch my feet with 'parie paina,' i will kick them on their back and say,

'paija. paija.'

Passion Loves Company, too; Types of Laughter

Misery loves company. So does Passion. 
It's just that misery is so easy to find.

-------------------------

'Take Care.'
What makes you think I am not taking care? 
Anyway, you take care.

----------------------------

There is 2 kinds of laughter.
1. Pretentious laughter
2. Spontaneous laughter

Dil ek bimari hai

dil ek bimari hai
shayaron par bhari hai, 
shayaron ne hi dukhi ho kar
duniya par mari hai

aisa na hota to pyar kaise karte log
jane kya adal badal hota
phephde tut te achche nahi lagte 

aj mere sir me dard hai
par jane dil kyu pareshan hai 

;)

shayar e amar